Happy New Year! If you’re reading this and follow me on Facebook, you know that my husband and I had a helluva 2022.
January 5, 2022 my husband slipped on the ice and fell and broke his leg, his femur to be exact. He spent 15 days in the hospital and another 7 days in a short term rehab wing of a local nursing home. He was out of work for 4 1/2 months, and still has hip and knee pain. So that was a major stressor.
We finally decided to move into his house and sell mine, after my Mom gave her blessing the previous summer. She had always told me I couldn’t sell my house while she was alive, because she loved it so much, but when she saw my husband’s house, she saw more space and potential. SO, in April and May I prepped for putting my house on the market, and we listed it in early June.
We got lucky because we received an offer the first weekend it listed, and ended up selling to that couple. I was anticipating a bidding war, but it never came, and in the end I was grateful to the couple who bought my house. They want to continue to do the farming/garden side, they have chickens, and they have dogs that enjoy the fenced in yard like my dogs did. They were also incredibly patient with us, as they were moving in I was still moving out, and in retrospect I realize how lenient they were.
While the house was in the process of being sold, we began an update at my husband’s (now our home) with new floors, paint, appliances, and a bigger oven for my baking business. While this was going on, we were moving my things to the “new” house, without a lot of room to put things. So, since August there’s been a shipping container in the driveway, and we continue to organize and downsize inside so that we can empty that container.
As this was going on, my Mom and Bob’s Dad, who both had cancer, were going through their battles and starting to lose the fight. My Mom was hospitalized September 14th, and starting the next week I went back and forth between home Phoenix to spend time with her – 10 days there, 10 days at home. She moved to a rehab facility in October, and finally went home on October 20th.
Mom was so happy to be back home and in her bedroom, she said she wasn’t sure if she’d ever see her room again. At first we weren’t sure how it could be managed financially, but somehow it worked out and we were blessed with a gift from God – a neighbor who is a caregiver and could help care for Mom. Mom liked her and so it was really a gift for everyone to have her on the team.
Bob’s Dad had battled and beat bladder cancer, but it spread to his liver, and the treatment for that was just too much for him. Although he was still mobile at 92 years old, he couldn’t do the things he loved anymore. Once the doctor told him there were no other treatment options for the liver cancer, he decided he was ready to go. Bob’s Dad Jerome passed away at home with his family around him on November 13th, and my Mom Jeanne passed away on November 26th with us by her side. Needless to say, it was a very rough November.
Once Mom passed, my siblings and I had the task of going through Mom’s things, and start to get her house ready to sell. Bob helped me in Phoenix for a week, and we came home just before Christmas to celebrate with his family. On Christmas eve, my old dog Ella was urinating blood, so in the middle of the blowing snow I drove her to the emergency vet at 10 pm for a $400 visit. Fortunately she just had a UTI, but I was terrified because she has kidney disease. Another stressor that took years off my life.
There were several days of snow before and after Christmas, and Bob has a side snowplow business, so he was out plowing. Two days after Christmas, he mentioned that he was having some pain and that it had lasted for a couple of days, so in to ER we went.
My husband had a heart attack the day after Christmas while shoveling snow for some of the customers who can’t shovel their own walkways. Fortunately, his arteries were not blocked, but he does have a small tear on the artery that the doctors refer to as the widow maker. He is being treated with medicine, and it should heal in 3-6 months.
SO, for those of you wondering where I’ve been in 2022, here it is. I was under an incredible amount of stress most of the year, and still have some stress worrying about my husband Bob, and trying not to mother him too much.
A few takeaways that I’m sure you all feel when you lose people so dear;
– Family first, you just never know what can happen and how much you will miss them when they are gone
– Do the things you want to do now, don’t wait for retirement. Bob’s dad had a lengthy retirement and was blessed with doing many things in this time. My mom was retired for 10 years, and lived her life to the fullest. I’m so thankful they both had such wonderful lives
– Take care of yourself, it seems like you’re better able to bounce back if you’re relatively healthy. The last 2 months have been a wake up call for me, and I’m trying to make small, gradual changes to get healthy.
In closing this update, which has been cathartic for me, the farm stand will be open in the spring in my new location. I will focus on the old favorites; bread, brownies and cinnamon rolls, with a mix of extras like cakes, muffins, scones, jam, cookies and other things I can add to my mix to keep people happy. I will restart my garden here, but I will plant more flowers than veggies, and will keep things simple. If you’ve read this far, thank you for humoring me my update, and I look forward to seeing you in the coming months. All my best to you all in 2023! Andria
PS I’m doing OK and incredibly touched by all of the cards, texts, calls, messages, soup and so many other gestures that were so thoughtful and heartwarming. Each of you lifted my spirits!